Classy But Deadly
by FlowerofAdversity
Summary: A first person POV story told by Teddie, a woman who is unaware she too is an Angel. Also, two new Angels are introduced; Braziere and Glove.


Classy but Deadly

Synopsis: P/S w/ Garterbelt fanfiction. The Iconoclast sisters Bra and Glove are angels ejected from Heaven to pay back on their sins. Bra's is wrath and Glove's is greed.

Chapter 1-They Ain't Afraid Of No Ghosts

The Iconoclast Sisters, Bra and Glove were living the life of luxury, right up to the point when Panty and Stocking were kicked out of heaven to hunt ghosts. Ghosts were the manifestations of human emotions that were unfulfilled and unlike earthbounds that simply needed to be directed to the light, these suckers had to be fought mano y mano. Unfortunately, Braziere and Glove had been booted out of heaven right about the time that ghosts started infesting the earth once again. Humans had no powers to fight against them, so it was up to the angels to destroy them, like it or not. When either the Iconoclasts or the Anarchies had collected enough heaven coins, they could return. Yet, however, there was a burning, niggling question that was left with such a turn of events. There were still creatures such as Scanty and Kneesocks and their head honcho, Corset, who made the lives of the angels challenging. They could be downright obnoxious at times. In fact, it was _Corset_ who had the ability to manifest these ghosts and even _alien_ forms of ghosts had begun infiltrating the planet. This made the Angels' jobs that much harder.

Bra was getting irriated, as usual. Typically, the pigtailed babe, with signature blonde hair and pink tips was rather laid back. Nothing much got under her skin, save for the activity of ghosts, which really got her steamed. In fact, her main sin was wrath, and whenever she felt it burning just beneath the surface, she warned her black sister, Glove about it. The more refined Glove in her maroon cocktail dress would sip some champagne and state,

'Chill out, Bra. Settle your nerves.'

Most of the time her southern drawl calmed her significantly but other times she just wanted to beat something unconscious until her knuckles were covered with blood. Let's just say that when Bra is pissed off, it isn't pretty at all, especially not for the ghosts.

Even though Panty and Stocking kavetch at each other almost constantly, they get along fairly well. Bra and Glove rarely argue, if at all, but Bra's temper is one thing that scares even Panty and Panty is pretty much unfased by anything.

In combat, these four are lethal. Bra and Glove only make it easier for the girls to hunt down and fight more unruly ghosts; especially with their weaponry. Bra, as you would've guessed, can whip her bra off and use it much like a Klingon batleth. Lots of heads have been lost with its use, but Bra tends to be slightly masochistic with her methods of 'punishiment' for villains. She has even been known to beat ghosts with their own arms and legs 'within and inch of their afterlife'. Glove is a bit more discreet and ladylike, but don't let that fool you. Both of her gloves transform into Barettas with unlimited ammunition. Seeing the two fight is akin to poetry in motion, especially when they recite their declaration;

'Oh hideous spectre that occludes the light

Cower in fear and tremble at the garments of these Divine Maidens !

Prepare for heavenly punishment to send you back into the hell from which you came !

REPENT !'

It isn't much different than the creed the Anarchy sisters use, but they have their own flair and flamboyance when reciting it. Needless to say, many men stand slackjawed when they see Bra's 40 Cs sticking out in the wind, and if I were a guy, I can admit I would be drooling a bit too.

Chapter 2-Casinos are a Girl's Best Friend

Glove tends to frequent casinos quite a bit and can win just about anyone with her southern charm, hospitality and charisma. Her voice is sweeter than honey and she uses that toward her advantage. Another one of her talents is her ability to convince anyone to do anything, especially when it comes to buying more chips to gamble. If she's not fighting a ghost by the side of her sister, Bra, then she's in the casino, trying to rack up a ton of money. She's under the naive notion that earthly money can be substituted for Heaven Coins.

One might ponder how Bra can be Caucasian and Glove African American. To be completely honest, I don't know myself, but as far as I am aware, Glove is the first black angel in the history of Heavenly Fighters. About time there was a bit of diversity in the ranks. I'm getting off track though, back to the casinos.

Among movies, Hangover and Hangover II are Glove's favorite films, which are completely ironic to her personality. She tends to go a bit crazy, much like Chow and one would say, characterisitically, when gambling, the two are one and the same. She has a bit of an addiction to video games when not playing the ponies or betting on fights. Sometimes, she rigs football games for the fun of it and makes more than she ever thought possible. She is the more diligent of the Iconoclast Sisters, however, because whenever they are alerted by Panty and Stocking to a ghost disturbance, she is the first to respond. Bra, however, is usually apathetic and mainly found in her gym pounding a punching bag. Her secret addiction is softcore yuri manga although she herself isn't lesbian.

Chapter 3-Stocking Heads to the Darkside

Stocking had been controlled by Corset all along and he was using her power to put Daten City back into submission. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I had been a long-time fan of the Angels and the fact that Stocking had turned into a two-timing traitor had made me rather irate. I knew of one method of turning her back to the right side, but it was going to take a near act of God to get the edible feast I was thinking of. I knew that I, Teddie, could do _anything_ set before me, especially if it was confectionary. I had to do this for the sakes of my heroines and for Daten city itself.

Right away, I began working on the largest spread I could, slaving away night and day. No one had asked me. It was a thankless job but I knew I had answered my calling. That is what I thought until I brought the masterpiece trap to the place where Stocking had been taken by her _relative_. I felt a bit strange, especially when eclipsed by my superheroines, but I sensed a power deep within myself that radiated throughout my body. Something in the matrix of my soul whispered,

'Listen to your heart, Teddie. You _know_ you have the power. Just unleash your heart, let love win the day for you. Love conquers all.' Though all of it seemed like a bunch of cliched crap, I listened to the voices in my head. Before I knew it, my teddie had transformed into a friggin' _mech_.

'Ho-ly sheet metal.', I thought to myself. I was moving _toward _the fighting rather than away from it, which was unusual for me, but despite my inclinations to run away from trouble, I was heading straight for it.

Chapter 4-The Ultimate Showdown (of Ultimate Destiny)

Panty, Brief, Bra, Glove and myself had all appeared to put Corset back into his place and convince Stocking that she was making one of the worst decisions of her life. I had spent my entire night crafting a confectionary feast for her and one look and she dove right in, eating it from stem to stern. Coming to her senses, she turned around and glowered at Corset.

'What the f #$ is going on ?', Stocking said as soon as she had returned to consciousness.

'This idiot wants to use another Heaven's Keyhole and try wrecking another city. Brief didn't agree to being tricked into Corset's plan, and Stocking had nearly been forced into helping Corset unleash some unruly ghosts.

'You might've walked away unscathed last time, but we're going to light you up this time, you bastard !', Bra seethed. Corset knew he was in for a netherrealm of trouble and had the regret of ever making these Angels pissed to begin with, but there was no turning back now. Recruiting my power with theirs, we formed MegaMecaSexyBeast. We simply called it MMSB for short, and I have absolutely no idea what occurred next. Why that happens is because when someone else is in control of me in mech mode, I tend to zone out completely, as if I go into topor. Once I reverted to my original, sweet human self, Corset had been blasted to a crisp and the Demon Sisters barely even had enough time to use their weapons in defense. It had been a less-than-epic showdown but none of us were complaining. Stocking was back to her bitchy self and we went back to our typical lives. None could say whether Corset was going to return to his devious ways or not. One thing was certain, he would take a long while to regain his power while he did. For that time, we would no longer be bothered by ghosts, but human beings had their own variety of problems that all of us were going to assist in. That is, after I add another Ferrari to my ever growing automobile collection.

Epilogue 

A great many number of you may ask how it is I, Teddie, couldn't have known I was an Angel. I didn't know until my powers were 'awakened', and then I simply remember absolutely nada. Yeah, I suppose my memory was wired that way to be convienient as some kind of cosmic joke, but whatever. I am just glad I have some bad-assed sisters I can kick serious butt with when neccessary. Whenever I am needed, I make an appearance while looking hot and saving the world too.

~*~ Teddie the Temptress


End file.
